Your name is DAVE STRIDER. You are a COOL KID who has several INTERESTS, none of which include PEANUT FUCKING. You are now TWENTY ONE YEARS OF AGE, and are not sure what you are going to do in life, but it definitely won't involve PEANUT FUCKING.
Your best bro happens to be JOHN EGBERT, and you often refer to him by names such as OLDBERT or MANBERT. You have also deemed a certain NEPETA LEIJON as your loving BUTTRAIL.
[ IMPORTANT: this blog is basically dead like 80% of the time don't get your hopes up on me updating ]